just when i thought i was starting to feel better my stomach decided to not cooperate.
it’s been a long couple months and there still have not been answers….but we are getting there. it’s getting better. and every day that passes gives me hope.
between my stomach, my back and my eldest child there’s been nothing but excitement here. never a dull moment, never a moment to rest…
there’s been numerous phone calls, dr visits, tests…cleansing, nausea, pain. where I once dealt with stress creating and day dreaming i now fear. it hasn’t been fun.
i spent the last couple months getting used to this no gluten thing. it hasn’t been easy. there has been some instances where i ate something and paid big time. there’s been meal malfunctions, muffins thrown in the garbage, tastes and consistencies i just can’t get used to.
i’ve bought cookbooks, i’ve downloaded recipes people swear by. i’ve called in my friend jackie for help.
i have not been diagnosed with celiac, but there is something about gluten that is messing with my stomach. i can’t tolerate it anymore. my body is rejecting it. the problem is, no one knows why. thankfully i found a doctor who likes to get to the bottom of things.
so with all this happening, the changes in my diet, the every day stress of life, i took a break. i stopped cooking. my chair at the counter sat empty…my blog has not been touched.
throughout the last couple months i have literally tested and re-tested almost every gf flour out there (and mixed my own). granted i don’t bake much and sweets aren’t my thing, my family needed muffins, cakes, cupcakes…i needed something to snack on. i needed a cookie, a damn edible muffin. is that to much to ask for?
it’s thrown me for a loop, i can get over taste testing 10 different kinds of gluten free pasta, but flour? i don’t have the energy to throw into something that irritating. yes, i just called flour irritating.
mainly, i just don’t have the time or patience. measuring this, cups of that, mixing different starches together. my constant thought was why me? will someone just help me?
figuring out different recipes for all purpose gf flour is expensive too. i’m not gonna lie. i spend a lot of time at the grocery store staring and harassing people. watching what they buy, asking questions, talking to staff to see if they have any ideas. i was done mixing my own blends. screw this i thought. i’m not baking anymore.
and then i happened to catch a review completely by accident while shopping on amazon. cup 4 cup gluten free flour mixes. i’ve heard of it before but the price tag threw me off. i sucked it up and bought it. i figured, i’ve wasted so much money thus far why not just give it another shot.
i’m a huge thomas keller fan. i own most of his cookbooks. french laundry was one of the reasons i fell in love with cooking. then there was ad hoc a couple of summers ago. i folded over numerous pages and explored many of his recipes. the creamed corn people, my…well, words can’t even describe. thick cut bacon and corn. yeah.
anyway, i ordered it. i received it. and then i made pancakes, using a non gf recipe. it worked. peoples. i can not begin to even explain how happy my monkeys were. grainless, grit-less pancakes. i scarfed one down, then another. i smiled. it made my day. i went food shopping for the first time in 3 weeks and bought real food, as in food i can cook with, create with, smile about.
and then i made muffins. real muffins. muffins that were light and fluffy. that didn’t taste like grit.
i can’t even begin to explain how i smiled, i jumped up and down. i felt great. i felt…i don’t know, i don’t know, i felt happy.
the muffin recipe is here (click this link). the only things i did differently, i used a mini loaf pan and omitted the ginger. ginger and i don’t always see eye to eye.
so my point, don’t give up. don’t let it get you down. keep smiling, keep asking questions, keep at it. eventually, it works out. you find something that works for you. and then you eat muffins….good muffins. airy, light, fantastic muffins.
i don’t know about you, but i’m smiling today…and buying more flour.