our ultimate comfort food, meatloaf

i cook a lot when things go wrong. when i’m feeling down, when someone around here needs a pick me up.

it’s how i deal. something to do with my hands. makes me feel better. for those brief moments i forget and concentrate on something else. i clear my mind and let go.

we have had a rough couple months. it’s caused chaos. it’s changed relationships, it has somewhat turned our life upside down. yesterday, after 2 weeks of fevers, croup, strep throat and ear infections things were finally starting to look up for us, and then we got word that a very important member of our community passed on. someone who we all looked up to, who changed my child’s life, who played an important role in him “getting” school.

there was a lot of crying, a lot of questions, a lot of confusion. tons of dirty tissues and lots of hugs and cuddling.

i’m watching my son grow up faster then i ever thought possible. i still look at him and see this little boy rolling around on the floor with the dogs, playing with his thomas the train set, throwing matchbox cars across the room cause he swears he can make them fly. i don’t think i understood half of what he does at this age. life for him seems so different then it did for me. i’m watching him become a small man. taking responsibility, caring for others feelings. and then i realize he is more like me then i thought. i look into his eye and see myself. and then he says something like “so what are we making for dinner, i need to cook”.

when we are feeling down we cook. we make comfort food. we eat, talk and sometimes cry. it’s our way of dealing with life. with the ups and downs, with change. it’s our way to cope.

so, our ultimate comfort food…meatloaf. what’s yours?