the last 2 weeks have been just insane. i’ve mentioned how overwhelmed i have been haven’t i?
it’s just not the amount of donations i have received either. it’s the people. the tears, the kids, the parents who don’t know where to turn next.
it’s the kid i gave a barbie to and the little guy i chased down to give a box of legos to.
it’s the church i went to today. the faces, the amount of donations, the destruction, the fact that they have been forgotten.
i won’t lie to you, i’ve never been this emotionally exhausted before. the feeling of guilt, the tears, the nightmares.
the block i turned down only to find a sign that read “help us fema”, or “no need to loot, they took everything”.
really? yeah, that’s how bad it is.
the smells, the condemned houses, the down wires, the lack of help.
my friend ellen and have the same problem, she’s been my partner in crime here, we both can’t stop. when we see what we did today we can’t, but there comes a time where our family needs to get back to normal too. my kids need me, my husband needs me, and my dogs (although have been my late night cuddle companions) need me too. they need to walk, they need to run, they all need me.
i’m taking a break. i’m trying to get back to normal. i plan to go out again but for now donations are not needed. what do they need? help cleaning up. help getting their kids back to school. help getting electricity back, help getting back to normal.
it’s dark in the rockaways right now. really dark. we all need a little light don’t we? i made 2 kids smile today, it brought tears to my eyes. i made a mom laugh. she hadn’t laughed in weeks. hopefully someone’s hands will be warmer tonight, hopefully i made a difference.
after all of this i am home. i nodded off on the couch for a couple minutes. exhausted. felt at peace, at least for today.
(just a quick update, i an no longer taking donations till i know what is needed. i am hoping to get a list soon, until then, thank you, i will let you know. keep these people in your thoughts in the meantime, they need it).